For this article, we used resources from the Safety Net Project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence and other national resources on human trafficking and online exploitation, including Polaris, the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, RAINN, and the FBI.
In the previous article, we talked about how phones and connected accounts can reveal personal information. But technology can also be used in other ways, not just for monitoring.
So much of daily life can now be managed with a phone, app, or online account. You can unlock your front door from far away, start your car from inside, pay bills online, adjust the thermostat while at work, share a family calendar, and handle benefits, medical appointments, or bank accounts without talking to anyone. This kind of access can make things easier.
But if someone else uses digital access to stop you from making decisions, using your things, talking to others, or managing your daily life, what was once convenient can turn into a way to control you.
TFA isn’t always about being watched. Sometimes, it’s about what someone can do because they have access.
When Someone Can Reach Into Your Home
Smart-home technology lets us control things like lights, locks, cameras, doorbells, thermostats, alarms, TVs, speakers, and appliances from a distance. But these features can also be misused to harass or intimidate someone.
If someone has access, they might keep changing the temperature, turning lights or appliances on and off, setting off alarms, or locking and unlocking doors.
Connected speakers and voice assistants can make things even more complicated. Depending on the device and settings, they might save voice recordings, keep activity histories, or communicate with each other. Someone with access to the account could see or use information you didn’t know was there.
A strange thermostat change or a device acting up might seem like a tech glitch. But if these things keep happening along with threats or controlling behavior, it could be a sign of something more serious.
Technology can let someone make you feel unsafe in your own home, even if they aren’t there in person.
When Transportation Isn’t Completely Yours
Cars are getting more connected, too. Depending on the car, an app or online account might let someone view vehicle information or control some features remotely. Sometimes, access stays with someone who used to own the car or was an authorized user.
Not all transportation worries come from the car itself. Small Bluetooth trackers, meant to help people find keys or bags, can be hidden in a car, bag, or other belongings and used to track someone without their knowledge.
If someone always seems to know where you are or where you’ve been, you don’t need to figure out the exact device or service before taking it seriously.
For survivors, transportation is about more than just getting from place to place. It can mean getting to work, taking kids to school, going to a doctor, meeting a lawyer, visiting family or friends, or reaching a safe place.
When technology is used to block or control transportation, it can also take away someone’s independence.
When Digital Access Becomes Financial Control
A lot of our financial life is now protected by passwords. Bank accounts, credit cards, payment apps, tax info, benefits, and other resources can all be reached through a phone or online account.
Technology can be used in financial abuse by controlling access to money, blocking benefits, stealing someone’s identity, hurting their credit, or making it hard to work or go to school.
The harm isn’t just online. If someone is locked out of an account they need, they might suddenly struggle to pay rent, buy food, get around, or see a doctor. Changing a password might seem small, but it can have huge real-life effects.
When Technology Is Used to Recruit and Exploit Young People
Technology can be involved in human trafficking even before a young person realizes they’re being exploited. Social media, messaging apps, and other online spaces help young people connect with friends and meet new people. But traffickers and others who want to exploit them can use these same spaces to reach out, build trust, and start manipulating or exploiting them.
At first, the contact might seem like a normal friendship, romance, or job offer. What matters isn’t just that the relationship started online, but whether someone is using it to make you dependent, pressured, or controlled.
Research from Polaris has documented social media being used in both sex and labor trafficking recruitment, including through intimate relationships and deceptive job opportunities. The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children also reports that some child sex trafficking begins with direct approaches to children online and can overlap with other forms of online sexual exploitation.
Technology can also keep exploitation going. A trafficker might take away a survivor’s phone, limit when or how they can use it, watch their messages, demand access to accounts, pretend to be them online, spread harmful rumors, or use private images as a way to control them. Financial apps, ride-share accounts, or booking sites in the trafficker’s name can also make it harder for survivors to get money, transportation, or their own records.
At the same time, survivors might need those same platforms to stay in touch with people they trust and to find support.
That’s why just telling someone to “get off social media” isn’t really a solution. Technology might be part of the abuse, but it can also help survivors stay safe and connected.
When Images Become Leverage
Images can also be used for control. A private sexual image shared in a trusted relationship might later be used to threaten, pressure, embarrass, or exploit someone.
A growing type of technology-based sexual exploitation is sextortion. This happens when someone threatens to share a nude or private sexual image unless the young person sends more sexual content, does something sexual, or pays money. When money is the goal, it’s called financially motivated sextortion.
Financially motivated sextortion has especially affected teen boys, but any young person can be targeted. The FBI warns that offenders may reach out through social media, messaging apps, online games, and other platforms, often pretending to be peers or people with similar interests. These threats can cause a lot of fear and shame.
Sometimes, the person making the threat doesn’t even have a real sexual image. They might use altered or AI-generated images to threaten or blackmail a young person.
More generally, private sexual images can be shared without consent or used to threaten, embarrass, or force someone to do something. RAINN calls this tech-enabled sexual abuse, which includes creating or sharing intimate or sexual images without consent, even if they’re AI-generated.
The problem isn’t whether an image is “real enough,” why it was shared, or if someone trusted the wrong person. The real issue is that someone’s image, identity, or sexuality is being used without their consent to cause harm or control them.
A young person going through sextortion is being exploited. They shouldn’t have to deal with threats, demands, or removing images on their own.
The Common Thread Is Control
A thermostat, a banking app, a vehicle account, a Bluetooth tracker, a shared calendar, a social media profile, a messaging app, and a smart lock—none of these things are dangerous on their own. What matters is how someone uses their access.
Ask yourself:
- Is someone using technology to interfere with things I should be able to control myself?
- Am I being locked out of accounts, services, or devices I need?
- Are unexplained changes happening repeatedly?
- Is someone using digital access to embarrass, punish, isolate, or pressure me?
- Does someone still seem to have control over parts of my life that I thought were no longer connected to them?
You don’t need to list every smart device you have. Instead, think about which parts of your digital life are connected:
- Your home
- Your transportation
- Your money
- Your family accounts
- Your photos
- Your identity
Who has access now? Who had access before? Is that access being used in a way that affects your safety, privacy, or choices?
Next: Before You Disconnect
Noticing technology-facilitated abuse is one step. Figuring out what to do next can be much harder.
In part 4, Before You Disconnect: A Technology Safety Plan, we’ll talk about how to set priorities, document what’s happening when it’s safe, plan the order of technology changes, use a safer device if you can, and decide when to get extra help.
The goal isn’t to get rid of technology. It’s to help you find ways to take back control of your digital life as safely as you can.
Learn More
For more detailed information about technology abuse, privacy, and safety planning, visit the Safety Net Project at the National Network to End Domestic Violence. To learn more about how technology can intersect with human trafficking, visit Polaris’ Human Trafficking and Social Media.
For information about sextortion involving children and teens, visit NCMEC’s Sextortion resources and the FBI’s Financially Motivated Sextortion resources. If an intimate image taken when someone was under 18 has been shared or may be shared online, NCMEC’s Take It Down can help limit its spread without requiring the image to be uploaded.
For resources or help, call our 24-hour resource hotline at 334-263-0218 or visit us at 858 South Court Street, Monday-Friday, 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m.
Technology-Facilitated Abuse Series
Part 1: Technology Abuse Is About Control, Not Technology
Part 2: Is Someone Monitoring Your Phone or Accounts? Start Here
Part 3: Beyond Tracking: When Technology Interferes With Everyday Life